Budapest and a Lesson on Introversion

It’s a nice night along the Duna, the river that divides Hungary’s capital into its two parts: Buda and Pest. Lights adorning the bars, churches, and bridges welcome the evening’s early arrival and I make a point of walking mindfully and embracing this moment in time.  I pass tourists, nuzzling couples, and every so often another fashionably cute brunette with bright eyes and a shy smile. Like Rome’s Tiber or Dublin’s Liffey, the river extends her patient courtesies, but I have a feeling that her true grace is only unveiled during a long evening stroll.

 

Me and the Chain Bridge

I came to this city alone, but I am not lonely. I am here to recharge. Week after week, I’ve travelled to new places with friends, leaving little time for myself. Despite the excitement of constant treks, I have become drained instead of rejuvenated. Paradoxically, the previous night in Malpensa Airport – where I had time to read, write, and think in the company of only myself – was the most invigorating eight hours of the past several weeks. So, to make up for the neglect of my inner character, I splurged on the lavish Adina Apartment Hotel: hot tub, sauna, and all.

City Park

I am an introvert. To many people, that means shy, serious, insecure, or antisocial. But, what it really means is that I get energized by spending time alone in my head. It’s somewhat of a guilt-laden word, but one that is an important and defining characteristic of who I am. Many places in the modern world value the outgoing and outspoken, while traits such as deep thought and reserve have taken a backseat. But, packaged underneath this natural deficiency in assertiveness, solemn appearance, and social anxiety, is an exciting life and constant flow of reflection that I wouldn’t give up for the world.

 

Vajdahunyad Castle

The most pivotal moment for an introvert is discovering the term introversion and realizing that it’s something to be proud of. For me, that was a number of years ago when my father gave me the book Do What You Are which suggests careers that one would likely enjoy based on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Test. The results lend a confidence to work with your strengths and pursue your passion – something I’m exceptionally grateful for.

 

Millennium Monument

This week, having finally reached the front of the library queue for Susan Cain’s Quiet, I delved into the pages of my Kobo. The book is an exploration into the nature of introversion, its presence in modern society, and its relationship with extroversion. It calls for an understanding and expression of those predisposed to longer bouts of solitude. It suggests that the world has in better part been shaped by introvert-extrovert pairs through the strengths each has to offer. In the past, I’ve sometimes wished the birth of an introverted child on those who’ve been aggravated by our characteristic misunderstandings. Instead, I can now suggest this book to anyone who is, works with, has given birth to, or is friends with an introvert. As always, we would do well to accept others for who they are and, of course, the first step is understanding.

 

Szechenyi Thermal Baths

So, if you sit down at my side, am I asking you not to talk to me? No, but you’d do better to introduce yourself with a deep question. While extroverts tend to be receptive to openings on matters of work and family, an introvert would be fonder of something like, “Do you think there will ever be a day when everyone speaks the same language?” Once some rapport has been established, that’s your chance to push those other topics. As I understand, the same doesn’t necessarily hold when asking an extrovert like Louis CK (see here). It’s a learning curve for everyone.

The complexities of the human psyche are baffling. For instance, I love singing along to the radio while driving. I enjoy giving speeches. I even like going to clubs sometimes (though I prefer bars where you can sit down and talk). But, understanding and accepting introversion would be a huge step in getting to know me and others like me. To the introverts: know that you aren’t alone and that you possess a unique skill set designed to complement the expansive among us. The world is ready for your ideas. Be open to sharing them.