Standing Out

It’s a compulsion – a need. When I started university, I was stunned by the hoard of students with the same identity I had worked so hard to shape as my own. I was the business/ math kid, but now, so were a hundred other students. Over the next few years, I had to redefine my niche. I still very much associated with being a business student, but this group had a reputation for poor writing skills and a lack of creativity. With a little bit of initiative, it wasn’t hard to make the switch.

Here in China, the same battle for identity is being fought, but among a significantly larger population. For me though, I now live in a land where my individuality is immediately apparent, even if the acceptance of that uniqueness isn’t. I’m terrible with social cues, except as a third party, but I’ve been fortunate enough to have several strangers strike up a conversation and offer help should I need it. So for me, this hospitality has far outshone any negative receptions.

The people of Macau, although more used to foreign visitors, have still been charmed by my blond hair and blue eyes, particularly my female classmates. Across the border, my appearance is even more striking, though the favorableness of reception is not always as obvious. Several times in Zhuhai, I caught myself with an unconsciously stern face as though defending my right to be there. But, as I think the case is with anyone, when I laughed with my friends and looked around, I picked out more smiles.

Walking around the beautiful New Yuan Ming Palace, Mainland tourists discreetly (though unmistakeably) took photos of my friends and I. The attention wasn’t unwelcome though – it was a novelty to us to be a novelty to them. We overheard a few young kids clearly rehearsing “Hello,” and “How are you?” some feet away and prepared for a picture. Then one boy in their group was kicked in our direction and asked to be in a photo with us (in Chinese). How could we resist?

My differences don’t stop at appearances though. I also happen to be the only one from North America and the only native English speaker among the exchange students here. Besides the need to uphold a certain standard of drinking, I tend to be charged with correcting grammar (though I only do it if I’m asked). Still, I’ve used my knowledge of the language for personal gain. I’ve already corrected a number of applications for Master’s degrees and exchange programs that will help pay for a few more meals! (If you’re in Macau, let your friends know! I’m open for business!)

Last semester in Italy, I felt like I failed to stand out. Not in a way that demands attention, but one ascribed to a person who exudes happiness and comfort. I made it my purpose to not make the same mistake in Macau – to enjoy unreservedly this incredible opportunity. In three weeks, I feel like I’ve accomplished more than what I did during my whole term in Europe (though looking back, that’s certainly not true).  I already have a drawer with a random elastic, paperclip, and spare change. For someone who never fully unpacked in first year university, that’s a big step.